I Wanna Be Sedated
by punky.broodster
Summary: An alternate version of Crush. Buffy and Spike in the DeSoto. PG for Spike's foul mouth :P


I Wanna Be Sedated - By Punky.Broodster  
  
  
Spike was nervous. If he had been able to sweat, his palms would be dripping by now. He finally had her for himself, just the two of them. Granted, it wasn't a date but it was a start. Maybe tonight would be the perfect opportunity to tell her how he…he felt about her. He looked at her, studying her features. She seemed so…jumpy.  
  
When she realized he was staring, she sent him a sharp look. He looked away. *okay, Spike ol' boy, think here!* he urged himself in his thoughts. He began to hum. "Oh oh oh…I wanna be sedated…" He didn't notice the weird glance she sent him and just kept on singing. The he stopped and looked at her. "You like The Ramones?" he asked.  
  
"The what?" Buffy asked. "No wait, don't tell me…it's probably some horrible band like your precious 'Sex Pistols'" She wrinkled her nose.  
  
"Sex Pistols are not horrible" Spike said in a defending tone.  
  
"Oh, please. Punk is just noise" Buffy said while rolled her eyes and looked out of the window.  
  
Spike scowled and looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he looked at her again. "I'll bet you never heard any of their music. You just know that I like them and then you have to critizise them! I'll bet you know nothing about them at all!"  
  
Buffy sighed and kept staring out of the window. "Oh, just stop it Spike, you're acting like a child"  
  
"No, I want you to admit that you've never heard any of their music!" he scoffed and folded his arms over his chest"  
  
Buffy looked at him for a second. Then she got a daring look in her eyes and twisted her body in the seat so she was facing him. "Allright then, if it will make you shut up. Ask me a question about them. Ask me anything!"  
  
Spike grinned. "O-kay, how about this one: name at least two of the band members. First name *and* last name!" He looked at her triumphantly.  
  
"Ahh that's an easy one…Johnny Rotten, Sid Vicious and Paul Cook! That was three, do I get an extra point?" Buffy mocked.  
  
Spike scowled. "Then…how about this one: what's the name of the song that the Sex Pistols sang for the first time on a boat on the Thames?"  
  
"God Save The Queen" Buffy shrugged and looked out of the window.   
  
Spike almost went right through the ceiling. "How do you know that?" he asked, surprise written all over his face.  
  
Buffy looked thoughtful for a moment. Then she sighed. "I can't belive I'm telling you this" Spike just looked at her. "Okay, belive this or not but when I was a kid I remember that my dad was this huge fan of The Sex Pistols. He listened to them constantly…that would be whenever my mom was out. She hated the music and forbid him to play it when she was there. So whenever she was out shopping or something else, he would put on The Sex Pistols, pick me up and dance around with me in the livingroom. Or he would sit down with me on the floor and tell me everything he knew about them. I never told him that I hated punk, cause I was afraid to hurt his feelings. You know how kids are. I…I guess those things is just branded somewhere in my brain" she finished with a sigh.  
  
Spike looked at her with a serious expression. "You miss the ol' man, huh?"  
  
"Sometimes" Buffy shrugged. "I know he left me and mom and that he didn't even show up at the funeral, but I…I don't know." she said with a sad look. Then her face hardened again. "…and something else I don't know is why I am here, telling *you* all this!"  
  
And with that she turned around and looked out of the window again. Spike kept staring at her.  
  
"And…stop…staring…at me! Am I growing an extra head or something?" she snapped.  
  
"Why do you do that?" he asked.  
  
"Do what?" she spat.  
  
"Shut off. Why do you push people away, Slayer?"   
  
"I don't push people away. I only push *you* away?" she said sharply.  
  
"That's bloody well because I am the only one *near* you!" he suddenly yelled.  
  
That caught her attention. She slowly turned her head, her eyes narrowed "that is *not* true" she growled.  
  
"Oh yeah? Well think, Buffy. When was the last time you let your friends or your family in, let them see the real you? Not the Slayer, but you. The bloody marvellous person you are!"  
  
When she didn't say anything, he just continued. "They wanna help you. Help you fight against Glory. But you keep tellin' them that it is too dangerous." He stopped short and then continued. "And by doing that you are digging your own grave. The only reason you have survived this long, Buffy, is because of them. They…are…your…bloody…lifeline! So please stop building up that wall around you. For your own sake, for your familys sake, for your friends sake…and for mine"  
  
"You don't know anything about me!" Buffy said in a harsh tone. "And what do you mean 'for my sake?' What are you playing at here, Spike?"  
  
Spike looked down and sighed. "I am not playing at anything, Buffy. I just…care about you. You and your brat kid sister. Mostly you, though. Is that so bloody hard to understand?"  
  
"And by caring you mean…?" Buffy asked, all Dawns previous words swimming around in her head. A bad feeling began to flutter in her stomach.  
  
"I think you know what I mean" Spike said, looking at her with an intense glam in his eyes.  
  
"I hope you're not saying what I think you are saying" Buffy said in a disbeliveing tone.  
  
Spike looked away. Buffys eyes widened. "Oh…Oh God…this is *not* happening. Not again, damnit! What is it about me? Do vampires generally find me attractive? Cause then I think I misunderstood something about slaying!" she yelled and shook her head. "How is it possible? How can someone go from intense hate to love? I just doesn't make sense!"  
  
Spike just shrugged. "Now you know how I feel…" he said in a low voice. "How do *you* feel?"  
  
"Spike, I don't even like you. Then how am I supposed to love you?" Buffy said. She saw the hurt on his face and felt a sting of regret. She sighed. "No wait…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to say it that way, Spike. And maybe I like you…no, not like you…*tolerate* your presence. But there is a big, big difference from tolerating you and loving you"  
  
"I don't belive you Buffy. I know you've felt the attraction between us, you must have" Spike said in a convincing tone.  
  
"That atttraction is only existing in your head! And I am *not* listining to this!" Buffy insisted. Then she swung the car-door open and began to walk away. Spike was right after her. He grabbed her by the wrist. "Buffy, wait! Please, just…wait!"  
  
She stopped and wrestled her arm free of his grip. Then she looked at him. "What?" she asked in an icy tone. It didn't affect him.  
  
"Remember something I said long ago? "I may be a loves bitch, but at least I am man enough to admit it?" She looked at him, puzzled. "I am still a loves bitch and still man enough to admit it…and I hope you are the same." And with that he walked back to his car, got in and slammed the door. And as the classic 1958 Dodge DeSoto FireFlite drove away, Buffy could hear a song emerging from the radio-speakers.  
  
"Oooh, I wanna be sedated…"  
  
  
TBC…  
  
© 2001 Punky.Broodster  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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